Floyd Mayweather Sentenced to 90 Days in Prison

It was announced today that boxer and self-proclaimed "supermegastar" Floyd Mayweather will be peacing out to prison for 90 days following domestic violence charges after a September 2010 incident in which Mayweather hit his ex-girlfriend and threatened his children. Here's the story.


In addition to jail time, which could be reduced if Floyd exhibits good behavior behind bars, Money May was sentenced to 100 hours of community service, which his lawyer argued should be directed toward children. Presumably, Floyd will be able to spread his inspiring story of devouring gratuitous amounts of candy, fast food, and soda (seriously, this diet is wild), and fighting people to benefit the lives of countless children in need. We already know the guy whose favorite movie is The Notebook is great around children, after he beat his wife in front of his 9 and 10-year old kids, took their cell phones, and made death threats that prompted one son old to run away from the house and jump over the gate to seek help. 

Back to the subject of Mayweather's diet, how will he make it in jail without his personal chef to make him 5 AM hot dogs? How will he manage to smuggle Butterfingers into his cell? And how can the man who is already one of the greatest athletes in boxing history get in even better shape now that junk food is out of his diet and he'll have nothing to do but work out all day?


Also, how rough could jail really be for Mayweather? Of all the athletes in the world though, Floyd probably has the least to worry about dropping soap in a jail shower. Besides, shouldn't they have liquid soap by now? Someone has to figure out that simple solution to prison rape eventually, right?


The real reason this story should matter to sports fans though is that Floyd's impending incarceration undeniably damages a sport that has been steadily losing interest with the rapid growth of MMA and other fighting sports. As Mayweather said himself with exquisite illeism, "Floyd Mayweather is the face of boxing. All roads lead to Floyd Mayweather."


He's right too. Floyd Mayweather is without a doubt the most important, psychotic, and unfalteringly interesting boxer of our generation. For years, boxing fans have been starving for a Pacquiao-Mayweather mega-fight that continues to be pushed aside due to tough drug testing demands, ego-fueled disagreements over profit distribution and a stunning unreasonableness.


According to the prosecutor who sentenced Floyd, Mayweather has made his living not just out of dodging punches, but dodging punishments as well. “He just continually gets himself into trouble and he is able to get himself out of it as well,” she said. “Essentially it is because he is who he is and is able to get away with everything.” Floyd won't be able to save his legacy if he doesn't fight Pacquiao, however, and it would be the costliest trouble he's caused for himself yet if he doesn't take the opportunity to take on the other best fighter in the world.

This fight would reportedly rake in $200 million, $60 million for each fighter, so why the hell doesn't it happen? Mayweather's sentence is  just the latest hurdle in what has been an absurd lack of proactivity that is crippling not just his legacy, but the entire sport of boxing. Hopefully, Floyd takes some of this time off to reflect on the fact that his ego is in many ways destroying a national pasttime that once was considered right behind baseball as a staple of American athletics. I know Floyd Mayweather isn't the smartest guy around, but he has to figure this one out and realize that no Pacquiao fight would do damage to everyone in the boxing world.


Floyd's next move? Supposedly his super squad of lawyers are appealing the "unusual" sentence, presumably with an insanity plea that would be hard for the legal system to deny.